Character Development?
by KandHforever
Summary: A collection of oneshots that make fun of the little weird things that I notice in the manga, anime, or the outtakes of Ouran. Don't take too seriously!
1. Chapter 1

Hello! Okay, first, don't be mad at anything. I wasn't saying that the series needed more background. But I think it does. Mostly, I'm just poking fun at the fact that we know so much about the twins past but they are the most closed. I found that ironic.  


* * *

"Character….development?" Two twins said in unison. "What's that?" The club had just received a letter from an upset fan.

_Dear Host Club,_

_Hello. I am Upset fan #452._  
_I write you to tell you about character development. Character development is the development of the characters personalities and backgrounds. This series dangerously lakes background development, and cannot possibly end until the following questions are answered:_

_1. Where is Kyouya's mother! Is she locked in a closet somewhere?_

_2. What disease did Haruhi's mother die from?_

_3. Why is Hunny's hair blonde? Is it dyed or what?_

_and etc,. Yes, these small details are what really matter to use! Please, do not conclude this series until the following questions are answered!_

_Sincerely,_  
_Upset fan #452_

"Whaaa...! We need character development!" The hosts yelled, very displeased at this...this...abomination!

"Well," said the boy that seemed to have no mother, "I guess they want background. But...WE can't even answer those questions! I'm pretty sure mom is impris- I mean at a resort in Okinawa right now..."

"And I don't know why my hair is blonde! I was just born that way."

"Well," said the twins, "at least our pasts are open doors even thought we were the most closed among all of us! That makes sense, right?"

* * *

Yay! REVIEW! I hope you liked it well enough.


	2. Chapter 2: unlikely blackmail

I got a request to continue, so I will! I like writing a lot of short chapters to different stories!  
For what the hey I'm talking about in this chapter, go to .com/watch?v=sT_R9iomoRw (if the website doesn't show up go on youtube and look up episode 22 and just watch till the part where Kyoya and Haruhi are sitting on the couch, or use the link that also goes to youtube and skip ahead to about 5:00). So just so you know, I didn't come up with this from scratch.

!

* * *

After a long day of beating up a red head that saw Haruhi undress, Kyouya sat down to relax and admired his work.

The tea was brewing, the sushi was almost finished (Haruhi was cooking as an 'extra credit' assignment'), and his laptop was newly charged.

Nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, could go wrong with this near-perfect day.

But bear in mind that if everything is going right, you most likely have over looked something vital.

Kyouya sighed. If only every day was this..._easy_! Haruhi walked in with a small smile.

"It's done Kyouya. Have a good day?" He looked up and took the small cup and platter from the petite 'boy'.

"Yes, it was rather relaxing, I guess. Just enough challenge, but not too stressful. It always is nice to unwind after a long day, though."

"Ah, I see. You draw pretty well sempai."

"What? I don't know what you are talking about..."

"Oh you don't remember. When you were drawing earlier I was sitting next to you. Looking over your shoulder. At the picture you were drawing. Of me in a bunny suit." Kyouya looked up almost surprised, almost blushing.

"That wasn't you! I mean, it was but...I'M JUST A TEENAGE BOY! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" And with that, Kyouya ran from the room screaming about his raging hormones and how hot Haruhi could be in a all-boys club.

Meanwhile, Haruhi was videotaping her new black mail.

* * *

I like this chapter. And if you haven't noticed, this is a story about the stupid little things I notice, like this.

REVIEW! And feel free to tell me about a stupid moment you have noticed, a funny outtake, anything really. I'll do made up situations, but I mostly want things from either the manga, anime, or the outtakes.

Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3: under arrest

I'm in a writing mood. And I had an idea I will forget if I don't write it!

* * *

The twins were in the middle of their 'act'.

"Oh...Hikaru...don't tell them that...you're embarrassing me..."

"But Kao, you are just so cute, how could I not? Besides, it doesn't embarrass you with me..."

"Oh Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

Their lips were just inches away from each other, and several girls had already fainted, while others were screaming.

Then, police sirens when off and the door burst open.

"Okay, okay people, remain calm. Hitachiin Hikaru and Hitachiin Kaoru, put your hands up!

Hikaru let go of Kaoru, who promptly dropped onto the floor and glared daggers into his brothers head. They put their hands up.

"You two are under arrest for incest, which is illegal in this part of Japan."

"But it's fake!" They cried while clinging to each other.

"Then explain this." They pulled out a picture...

The twins had no farther excuses, and then they were handcuffed.

* * *

Yeah, I know incest is legal in Japan, but it made a good chapter I think. This one was making fun of what might happen in real life in a different county...not so pretty is it now, huh fangirls? Jk, I love twincest. :)

Still open for ideas!


	4. Chapter 4: A request!

This one is going to be short and not really what the story is about but...it's an idea.

* * *

"HARUHIIIII!" The twins yelled.

''What?"

"Come watch this show with us! We want to know if you like it!"

"What is it?"

"Come see from yourself."

"Haruhi walked into the Host's 'staff room' (yeah they have one!) and looked at the TV

"Oh my god...IT'S BLUE'S CLUES!"

The twins smiled. "So you've heard of it?"

"ZOMG YEAHS! I love it sooo much!"

"What was your favorite episode?"

"The one where Blue gets thrown off the top of a building. Stop watching that it will melt your brain."

* * *

lol I just had to write that! I LOVE Blue's clues! I love it!

But the real reason I wrote this is because I need help. I need someone to tell me about Axis Powers Hetila? I don't know if I spelled that right...but okay. I...don't understand it. I'm READING it, not watching, so could someone tell me about it?

And maybe you know...tell me about Poland? I love Poland. Like Totally. So, I know about Poland because I've read about him cuz I love all things Polish. I'm going to me Pierogies (again sorry about spelling) tomorrow. I love Poland more that I do Japan. If you want to know why don't be afraid to ask! I will honestly tell you the whole story!


	5. Chapter 5

Ever had instant coffee? Welll...

* * *

"It's called instant coffee sempai. If you want I'll go get the expensive kind."

"Nonsense!" The tall blonde idiot yelled, "I shall drink this commoners beverage!" The girls oohed and ahhed at his chivary, while Haruhi demonstrated the delicate procedure of making instant coffee.

In other words, ten seconds later a tray of coffee was prepared.

Tamaki took the 'King' mug in hand, and took a tiny sip.

"This tastes like-" but he couldn't finish his sentence, for he fell onto the floor with a thud.

"He should be back up in an hour. That's from the initial shock of how crappy this stuff really is when you think about it." Haruhi cleared up.

Everyone sighed, and then laughed. They grabbed their own cups and took a drink, obviously not believing Haruhi. Tamaki simply...needed a nap!

Soon everyone was on the ground, except Haruhi.

"Ha, they thought they could handle it! You have to have real low standards to like this crap! Or survive drinking it."

Haruhi sat smirking, cup in hand, while drawing a Hitler mustache on Kyouya with permenant marker and braiding the twins hair into dreadlocks.

* * *

This is what I think should have really happened.

Have you ever had this coffee? I have and I personally LOVE it! It isn't too strong, and the flavor's nice.

If you've tried it, tell me about your instant-coffee-experence! (P.S. if you want I'd try Nescafe, just because they had Hescafe in the show :) )


	6. Chapter 6

:P ;P ;)

* * *

"Kyouya, what kind of computer do you have? Is it Apple?" A curious fangirl asked, thinking she would receive a smile and a nod of the head.

"No, I'm afraid it isn't Miss." Her curiosity grew even more.

"What is it then? Mac?"

"No again."

"PC? Microsoft?"

Kyouya smirked. "No and no. It is a Pineapple."

The girls smile faded. "No it isn't. Those don't exist."

"Do they not? Want me to Foofle it?"

"What is 'foofle'? Do you mean 'google'?" she asked, growing impatient at the trivial Kyouya.

"No no. It is foofle, I'm sure. Here we are...Pineapple's website. See here?"

"Hitler face moron." And the girl picked up her bags and left, embarrassed at being wrong.

"She couldn't handle the truth. Haruhi?" he asked.

"What?"

"What is this 'google' that that girl spoke of?"

"Well...

P.S. Kyouya still has the marker mustache and the twins are still rocking dreadlocks.

* * *

Ever noticed that Kyouya's computer is a Pineapple? Maybe this is a little too much attention to detail...?

REVIEW! and maybe add something you have notice? kthxby

Like, to the max! Totally!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey all! I OWN OURAN!1! YOU HEAR THAT? That was the sound of me lying. I don't own Ouran.

* * *

**~Why our customers are stupid~**  
**By Kyouya Ootori**

As you know, the host club and I have very...interesting clientele. These are no normal women, no...these women have been ruined by none other than us (although I think my *dearest* Renge has something to do with that).

There is no wonder that we can trick them into paying 10000 yen for a pencil! These girls are simply idiotic. I now bring you my top ten reasons why our customers are so stupid.

10. The twins have absolutely *ruined* their poor little minds with their twincest. It just isn't real. Gay men are real, and they ROCK! *cough* But twincest really isn't...

9. Manga. Manga has many situations that aren't expected in everyday life. These girls have tried to alter their views to make them seem more likely to happen.

8. Being rich. When you are rich you don't really have to have all that much knowledge of the real world, just the relations.

7. Tamaki has made them think that they are just SO beautiful, when most really aren't to be blunt. Cute, maybe, but not beautiful.

6. I think that the horrid yellow dresses they have to wear have hypnotized them...

5. They pull their hair into star wars styles so tight that it restricts the blood flow to the brain.

4. They must imagine what Mori is trying to say, and you know they must come up with some wild ones...

3. Kaoru's hotness has blinded them, rendering them defenseless! (O.o did I just say that?)

2. Haruhi has poisoned the food multiple times with brain-cell killing poison.

And, now, my numero uno reason~:

1. They have all been tricked into believing that there is a such thing as 'Apple' and 'Google'!

* * *

:)

How are you? Good? I'm rather crappy myself. I was thinking today 'why do I write such long AN? I'm sure no one wants to read them!' But...I feel compelled to write them anyway.

Soo...how about a poll? I'll have to give away my age but...It's okay. You aren't pedo's.

**Do you think it is weird for a 13 year old to wear red sparkly shoes?**

See, I don't care if it is weird but my Mom does so she wouldn't get them for me. She said that it was cute when I was little, but it just looks weird now. People will make fun of me.

First off, who are they to tell me what to wear! I am an individual who happens to LOVE red glitter shoes. And I see nothing wrong with them. They are just shoes.

But people at my school probably would make fun of me. They all wear abercrombie & fitch everyday. They have NO personality of their own. They do what people around them do. I don't want to be like that because you will never make it in the world if you don't have your own personality. Simple as that.

Now, I wouldn't advise wearing these shoes to work lol...but school is good I think. I'll just get them myself the next time I go to the store, just to make her mad :3.


	8. Chapter 8

This chapter is referring to chapter 50 in the manga! P.s. If you haven't noticed, Ouran is BACK ON MANGAFOX! XDD

* * *

After Tamaki's and Kyouya's face-off, Kyouya got to decide the cosplay theme.

He chose a Scottish theme, complete with kilts (*cough* skirts *cough*) and bagpipes. And of course, Tamaki had to wear a loin cloth because of the on-going bet.

"Kyouya sempai?" Haruhi questioned when shown her and the others outfits.

"Yes?"

"Is there a reason why you wanted to wear a skirt?" She looked up at him questioningly.

Kyouya blinked, then blushed slightly, realizing her point. "Um...no, not really. I happen to greatly love the Scottish culture."

"They don't have to wear kilts."

"Oh just shut up!"

_I have a feeling he isn't doing this for merit..._

"Okay, just one more thing. Why did you want Tamaki to wear a loin cloth?"

Kyouya placed his notebook down, and stood.

"BECAUSE TAMAKI IS SMEXY AND MY LEGS ARE SMOKIN' HOT!"

* * *

...ZING! I was re-reading some of the manga and came upon this...I know Kyouya wouldn't say this, but ALL HAIL THE OOC-NESS! You know you love it. Okay, so REVIEW or Kyouya's legs will stop will stop being smokin' hot! Oh noes!

P.s, notice how in the chapter he isn't wearing full attire? Just the skirt? Thoughts on this please!

omg I don't know how many times i'm going to re-post this edited, but i must again add, that also in chapter 50, I noticed something. The way Kyouya is always at the back of a picture just like 'yup' looks like photobomb to me! lol


	9. Chapter 9

:) how are y'all doin'? Now that I have taught you my native tongue, enjoy this chapter, idea courtesy of agw7897! Thank you! Oh, and aurdox, yours are next *evil laughter* Now where's my sweet tea and cornbread...?

This is chapter 9 in the manga, not episode 8 :)

* * *

"Guys...I think I'm gonna throw up..." Haruhi said while being squeezed to death.

"Mori Sempai run!" they yelled, and Mori picked up the small girl and ran to...well, I don't know where they were going! Just running, running, with a nauseous girl...

Anyway, they were running in a hallway, when a beautiful blonde boy ended up in front of them.

"Who are you?"~

~A few weeks later~

"Would you like some tea gir-AH!" A cat doll ended up being shoved in Haruhi's face. She turned around, ticked off. "What do you...want...?"

The same beautiful boy from the mansion was now in front of her. Same platinum hair and crystal eyes. "Hello Haruhi-kun."

"H-hi..." _Oh my god it's that gorgeous guy! Maybe he likes me...I should be nice~!_ "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure! But first, may I talk to you for a moment? Haruhi nodded and excused herself from her clients. "I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?"

"Ah! S-sure but...are you gay?" She was shot a confused look.

"Of course not silly! You are a girl right? You were wearing a dress at the mansion."

"Oh, yeah, I was. I guess you know then. Just don't tell and we should be fine..."

"Great, I'll meet you after school then?"

"Hai."

~After school~

"He stood me up! I can't believe it!" Haruhi said to herself while pacing back and forth outside of the club room. "After he got my hopes up too!" She was about to give up, and was picking up her bags.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get ready and finish with my club. Ready to go now?" Haruhi turned around and frowned.

"Nekazowa sempai? Erm, what are you talking about?"

"Our date silly! Remember...? You agreed earlier." Nekazowa said, wondering about the mental health of this girl.

"You mean you're hot dude? No way! Peace out sucka!" Haruhi sprinkled magic pixie dust on him, and ran.

"W-what just happened? Why am I standing here? I think I was going to ask out Kyouya, but it looks like he already left...aw well, off to teach Kirmi the way of the occult."

* * *

Hope it was okay! Review please! It didn't turn out like I expected, but whatever. I just type what comes to mind.


	10. Chapter 10

These next three chapters are from ideas of aurdox! these aren't making fun of any one time, but just sorta in general. K thx by

* * *

"Oh Hikaru~! Please don't! It would be too embarrassing for the girls!" Kaoru swooned, adding to the on-going show.

"I don't care! I need you now, and if that is then so be it! I want to taste you like a child wants to taste candy! Please..." Hikaru was holding Kaoru loosely in his arms

"No, not right now..."

"Oh just do it already!" A girl yelled (Renge) and she pushed Hikaru forward.

"Ah!" was all that could escape their mouths before Hikaru's lips crashed into Kaoru's. Their eyes bolted open wide and a look of panic entered their eyes.

The girls, for the most part, were all screaming their heads off. They didn't even notice the look of disgust on the twins faces. After ten good seconds (that long only for illusion) they broke away.

"Excuse us!" They yelled in unison, and running to a corner.

"That was so gross!" Hikaru said.

"I know...now they'll never believe we're straight!"

"Wait, who said we were straight?" Hikaru questioned.

"You didn't read the script, did you?" Hikaru shook his head. "Well, the weirdest part of all is-"

"My first kiss was with my brother, in front of girls that will now think we are forever gay, and we will never be able to tell them other wise. I want a divorce."

* * *

This was a play on them being straight and the girls wanting to think other wise. Did it turn out as PLANNED? Naw, but it's alrighty. I'm pretty tired right now though...


	11. Chapter 11

This is a tribute to the idiot girls the host club calls: 'clients'

* * *

"KAWWIIIIII!" the girls yelled as Haruhi poured the water for their instant coffee.

"KAWIIIIIIII!" the yelled when Tamaki excused himself to go to the rest room, and when Honey burped.

"Girls," Kyouya said with money signs in his eyes, "would you like to buy some picture packets I've made?"

"KAWIIIIII! How cute of you!"

Kyouya's eye twitched. "C-cute? I am not 'cute'."

"Yes you are you cutie patooty! I could just eat you up!"

"I-I'm not food...please girls, just stop!"

"But your so KAWIIIII!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"YES YOU IS!"

"GOOGLE ISN'T REAL!"

"GLASSES ARE SO LAST SEASON!"

"HOW DARE YOU!"

The fangirls where never heard of again.

Fin.

* * *

That was because the girls ALWAYS yell KAWIII even if Kyouys is making chaching off of them.

;) you know the drill

hands up cash out.


	12. An update for my lovely readers!

;) how you doin'? I'm impatient, so I'm writing a one shot! And at the end I'll have a surprise for you (even though I've put it in another story) just in case you haven't read it. I want all to experience the WONDERFUL world of...spoilers!

* * *

"Hm, how curious!" the oldest Hitachiin twin stated, eying the odd _thing_ sitting before them.

"What could it be?" Kaoru poked it, but nothing happened.

"I think it's something you use to clean with!"

"No, it couldn't be! It'd fall apart." Karou shot down.

What was it? It looked like something that you could find at a commoners market, so what was it doing in the club room?

"Wait, I think you read it!" Hikaru shouted, upon realizing that it opened and had words in it.

"Yeah! To bad we can't read..."

"What are you guys doing with my manga!" Haruhi shouted at them when she walked in to see the twins poking at her book.

"Man-"

"-ga?"

"Yes, manga. Leave it alone and now one gets hurt."

"What's it called?"

"Naruo High School Chess Club...it's about this group of guys and one girl. The guys are surprisingly good looking, so it turns into more of a host club than a chess club. If you want to read it, go borrow Kyouya's copy."

* * *

This was a quick little pile of crap because, if you didn't know, the newest chapter is availiable for download. So soon it should be out just to read :) I hope I'm aloud to say this.


	13. Chapter 13

Sigh. This is a parody of the song: California Gurls. Enjoy.

* * *

Hikaru was saddened by the lose of all change to win Haruhi, so he and Kaoru made a parody of an american song to cheer him up.

"Commoner Gurls"

Greetings peoples  
Let's take a journey

I know a place  
Where the people are really poorer  
cold, Hungry and pathetic  
I bet theres stuff in the water  
Sippin' crappy coffee  
laying underneath a cardboard box (Eewww)  
The boys  
Run away  
Trin' to save their flesh (men eaters)

You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close  
to the stinky streets  
But once you get to know them  
You'll be falling in love  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Commoner girl  
She's unforgettable  
Sweater vests  
glasses on top  
scabbed skin  
So gross  
It'll make you run away  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Commoner girl  
She's undeniable  
Cute, short, sweet  
She's got it on freakin' lock  
forth street represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Food on the floor  
She don't mind sand in her spagetti  
She freaks out  
at thunder  
Tamaki'll save the day-ay (oh crap) 

You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close  
to the stinky streets  
But once you get to know them  
You'll be falling in love  
Oooooh oh oooooh 

Commoner girl  
She's unforgettable  
Sweater vests  
glasses on top  
scabbed skin  
So gross  
It'll make you run away  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Commoner girl  
She's undeniable  
Cute, short, sweet  
She's got it on freakin' lock  
forth street represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Skinny, pale  
Fit and gready  
Turn it down cause she's so pretty...  
Wild, wild forth street  
These are the girls I love the most  
I mean the ones  
I mean like she's the one  
Hit her  
pick her  
Squeeze her...face.

The girl's a weirdo  
She drives a scooter  
and lives in a box  
I'm okay  
I won't play  
I love to eat  
Just like I love her  
Haruhi  
And Tamaki  
Jealousy is everything

All the boys  
runnin' out  
All that dirt  
Hangin'about  
sweaters, leeks, coffee  
No otoro  
Just the tuna  
And the tofu  
Haruhi my lady  
(what you want?)  
You're lookin'here baby  
(sure)  
I'm lovin' you  
Cause you representin the Commoners  
(Ohhh yeahh)

Commoner girl  
She's unforgettable  
Sweater vests  
glasses on top  
scabbed skin  
So gross  
It'll make you run away  
Oooooh oh oooooh

Commoner girl  
She's undeniable  
Cute, short, sweet  
She's got it on freakin' lock  
forth street represent  
Now put your hands up  
Oooooh oh oooooh

(Commoners)  
Commoner girls man  
I wish they all could be  
Commoner girls  
(Commonerrrrs)  
I really wish  
You all could be  
Commoner girls  
(Commonerrrr, girls)

"I WISH I COULD JUST HAVE MY FREAKIN' COMMONER GIRL!"

* * *

That was different and quick, but maybe good for a laugh.

I have a few shout-out sorta things. To: aurdox and agw7897 for ideas, and to everyone else that has reviewed! If you go and look at the reviews page, you'll see a collection of some of the most amazing people ever! Thanks!

I just wanted to say something. And it isn't about my story at all. It's about a story I've read that you should too. It is 109% more funny than mine and is just celebrating it's 50th chapter! It's called 'Pumpkins make people crazyyyy!' By Yumi-chan-likes-chainsaws. This girl must be the funniest person alive or something. She makes me bow my head in shame! Jk jk. I hope I didn't embarrass you to much Yumi! You are AWESOME! Happy 50th!


	14. Chapter 14

I have no ideas! MuahahaHA

* * *

Kaoru always had had horribly realistic nightmares. In fact, he was having one right now...

*Into dream world ahoy!*

Hikaru and Haruhi were caught in a net.

"Hikaru, how do we get out?" Haruhi asked, spazing out.

"I don't know...maybe we should think rationally about this situation! I'll draw up a theory!"

"Huh?"~

"Kyouya-senpai, how are you today?" Kaoru asked the tall-ish but still short senior.

"Just fine, Kaoru. So fine in fact, I could do the funky chicken!" the song started playing and kaoru screamed.

"AHH! NOT THE FUNKY CHICKEN!"~

Kaoru woke up in a cold sweat. "H-Hikaru?" he nudged his brother and he woke up. "I-I had a bad dream."

"Aw, it's okay Kaoru. Let's just think about it in a rational way."

"NOOOOOO! ! !"

Yes, Kaoru Hitachiin's dreams were always frightening.

* * *

Pulled that one out of my butt :3

If anyone was a good dessert recipe, let me know :) I've said this in two other stories so far, but I know I have different viewers. If you already have, don't worry 'bout it.

AND REVIEW!


	15. Chapter 15

"Hikaru, what if I was a girl?" Kaoru asked impatiently while doing his homework.

"What do you mean?"

"You know...would you still like me?"

"Of course."

"Would you tell me I was pretty if my boyfriend broke up with me?" He further questioned.

"Yeah! I'd snap his neck too!"

"Would you tell me you loved me? Would we still sleep in the same bed?"

"Yes and yes...I do all of this already!" Hikaru walked over to Karou's desk and picked up his paper, "This report is on...teenage pregnancy?"

"Yeah. I thought I'd take the original approach and write about incest."

"Good thing you aren't a girl!"

"I know right!"

* * *

This came off the top of my head, but still...I am keeping my promise of updating by tomorrow. I may not get them all done though tonight :/


	16. Chapter 16

Man+Women=

...

Tanuki?

"Okay, here is my theory," Hikaru began the host club's first official 'mysteries of Haruhi' meeting, "Her dad isn't actually human! He's a tanuki in stilts under all that makeup!"

Kyouya countered, "What about when he_ isn't_ wearing makeup?"

"What about her mother? We never really have seen her, just in flashbacks and pictures. Maybe both were altered. And because we never really know what she died of, maybe she died of old Tanuki age?" Kaoru tried.

Kyouya pondered. "Yes...this is much more likely. Way to use your head, Kaoru."

"No, that's impossible! My baby must be one hundred percent human!"

A rope was pulled and Tamaki fell away into a deep, dark hole.

"Guys...maybe we should ask Haruhi. She's right there," Hunny pointed to a peeved Haruhi sitting across the room.

"So which is it?" they all chorused.

Haruhi sighed. "Neither. I'm adopted."


	17. Chapter 17

I had to write this. This is sooo cracky...

This is supposed to be a little like a fairy-tale.

* * *

**Kyouya had finally lost it.**

All day, he had been hiding behind a curtain, making swishing noises he called "curtain-sounds".

Why?

He thought that if he was a very convincing, the auburn-haired demon girl would leave him alone forever. So he sat, whistling curtain-like tunes all day, until finally, Renge came.

**"**Oh, Kyouya, where are you?" She called**,** worried her love had ran away.

"The Kyouya you speak of is not here right now. Please leave a message after the tone. ***Beeep***"

Renge gasped, for she believed Nekozawa had turned Kyouya into a Kyouya-curtain-answering machine. "Don't worry, my love! I will fix you!"

So she set out on her epic journey to get magic dust from Nekozawa. He gave it to her, but with one request. Her hair.

She shaved her hair and gave it to Nekozawa, who wanted it for a curse. He gave her a 'curtain-to-man' powder. The story told that if one sprinkles the contents on a curtain, the soul that was turned into it would come back again.

Renge was grateful, and skipped back to the Kyouya-curtain. She sprinkled the dust on the curtain, and from it emerged a beautiful young man with golden hair and a beautiful smile. "Hello, love, thank you for returning me! I must have been stuck in there for three hundred years. What happened to your hair?"

From behind the curtain, Kyouya wondered what was up. Who was this stranger?

All he heard after that was a giggle and a door slam. He stepped out from behind the curtain and...

**Wham!**

Renge popped out at him and took her prize, pineapple computer and all

Fin

* * *

This came from a conversation on a Forum, and it was hilarious.

Not the best, but I'm pooped


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